GENEROUS

In Honor of No Cuss Week and Women's History Month

contact@crazations.com (Nean) — 2010-03-14T22:45:00Z

Here's the late, great LaWanda Page (Aunt Esther from the 70s comedy,"Sanford and Son) in a stand-up that is not meant for timid ears. Enjoy!

Power to a Tee

contact@crazations.com (Nean) — 2010-03-11T18:48:00Z

Are you a geek, pop culture expert or just love the Internet to death? Or a cool person who just likes to wear funny shirts?

If you want to let the world know how much you love 2009 movies like The Hangover or really wanted to know where to buy Adventureland tshirts, this is a place that I just happened to run across.

Like most of you, I’m watching my pennies and could not believe their low prices and FREE SHIPPING on single U.S. orders. They also have a gallery of regular folks like you and me who love to get their geek on.

These folks also have belt buckles and other serious conversation pieces. If you still have questions about the power of a tee, check out these t-shirt answers!

If You Thought You Were Good Because You Ordered a Salad

contact@crazations.com (Nean) — 2010-03-05T18:35:00Z

at a restaurant. I'm guilty of the same crime myself and actually got mad every time I would go through a "salad phase", my clothes that didn't already stretch got tighter after a couple of weeks.

According to this article, unless one of those wonderful sodium-filled salads is your meal for the entire day (which dietitians don't recommend, btw), you may want to add that to that "special day list" we all have. You know, treat yourself to that avocado bacon burger or triple chocolate cheesecake when you had a bad day or got a raise.

Not I that condone everything about Eddie Murphy but in this clip from 1987's, "Raw", I always thought this account about women who eat salads (starts at 00:59) had some truth to it.

More Things About GENEROUS Advice Columnist, Miss Fitts

contact@crazations.com (Nean) — 2010-03-04T20:45:00Z

REAL NAME - Velveeta Jones (yeah, my mother really wanted for me to stand out in a crowd)

FORMER OCCUPATION - Machinist (for the last time, this is the truth)

PETS - One sexy cat named Casper that I spoil to death because she's always between my legs and Siamese whose name escapes at the moment

HOBBIES - Flying, social intercourse with complete strangers, hosting intimate dinner parties, even if they're at someone else's home

FAVORITE FOODS - Italian and Southern because I need to eat

EXPERIENCE THAT CHANGED YOUR LIFE - The morning I realized that it was OK to have a 48 inch chest
AND a 40 inch waistline AND that I was more of a real person in more ways than one!

If you have a question and not spam because pork is fatty, send an email to missfitts@crazations.com

Naomi...WTF!

contact@crazations.com (Nean) — 2010-03-01T21:00:00Z

Image Courtesy of Rhymes with Snitch.

What is this b!tch thinking about? I know Europeans are way more carefree about nudity than us Americans but still...she knows this is wrong on many levels.

Surviving the Odds

contact@crazations.com (Nean) — 2010-03-01T17:41:00Z

I had a close friend who was pretty inspirational to me and helped me become the woman I am today. He worked construction during the day and had his own auto shop. From him I learned the importance of being independent and the long term benefits of steady, hard work. One day out of nowhere it seemed his dislike for taking a vacation caught up to him. Had he taken a little more time to smell the roses instead of commercial fumes, he may not have been diagnosed with mesothelioma cancer.

While we can't prevent all illnesses, it does help to not only get a second opinion but independently seek other options for treatment. Having mesothelioma was not the end for my friend and a lot of other people. The quality of life may not be the same as before but it is good to have those we love around for as long as possible.

If you or someone you love has been diagnosed with mesotheloma or are undergoing chemo, you may receive free information.

Ladies, Put a Spin on Your Fav Fairy Tale

contact@crazations.com (Nean) — 2010-03-01T05:17:00Z

Should Little Red Riding Hood give that wolf a can of whoop-ass? Or how awesome it would be to cross Three Little Pigs with Reservoir Dogs? Do you miss that Fractured Fairies segment of the old Rocky and Bullwinkle cartoons or are you like me, a serious fan of Tex Avery?

Well, here's an opp you might be interested in.

Don't Cry 'Cause the Ink Went Dry

contact@crazations.com (Nean) — 2010-02-26T00:08:00Z

Don't be one of those people that spends ridiculous money on printer ink!

There was a time when I used to buy my printer cartridge ink from those off-price stores. Now, I like them for random deals but when it came to printer ink, they rarely had what I needed in stock. Some retailers can be pricey and the cost of printer in ends being more than what a person paid for the printer itself. Well, I found this store that has all sorts of deals on name brand Discount Printer Ink Cartridges 24/7, 365 days a year as well as other deals that can be missed. Check it out now!

If You're in the NY Area and Need a Laugh

contact@crazations.com (Nean) — 2010-02-24T18:16:00Z

Normally, I'm not much on self-deprecating humor, especially when it comes to being a large woman. So last week when I opened my mailbox to see the words 'Fat Bitch' contained in the message, I thought this must be some Comic View reject performing in someone's back yard. Anyway, if you read the message and click the link, hopefully you'll come away with a smile like I did.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A Big thank you to the Babs family for supporting me!

If you are coming to see my 1 woman show "Fat Bitch!" on it's final night here in NYC, before I go on tour....please arrive at 6:30pm.

I know they said rain/snow, but New York never sleeps and the show will go on regardless of what the weather channel says!

My show starts promptly at 7pm, and Joan Rivers goes on at 9pm....so my show must start and end right on time.

My show is less stand-up comedy...and more theatrical....so trust me, you want to see it from beginning to end! LOL!

I love you all...and I am very excited that you may be coming to see the show!

Babs Rocks!

THURSDAY FEBRUARY 25 7pm Be there 6:30 pm to get the best seats in front.
The Laurie Beechman Theater is located inside West Bank Cafe at 407 West 47th Street -- at Ninth Avenue, accessible from the A,C,E,N,R,V,F,1,2,3 trains at 42nd Street.

Tickets are $15, plus $15 food/drink minimum,available at 212-352-3101
Please use code "family" to get $3 off advance tickets!

MUCH LOVE,
Erica Watson

See What Fat Bitch is about at link below.

http://www.spincyclenyc.com http://www.spincyclenyc.com/
http://ericawatson.fanbridge.com/campaigns/show.php?id=597432&sid=119675077

Miss Fitts Podcast for February

contact@crazations.com (Nean) — 2010-02-23T05:40:00Z

WARNING: IN THE SPIRIT OF GENEROUS 'ZINE, THIS PODCAST IS EXPLICIT AND NOT REALLY RECOMMENDED FOR SENSITIVE EARS!

Is Feminism in the Media Dying? Words From the Publisher

contact@crazations.com (Nean) — 2010-02-23T03:48:00Z

I can remember dabbling on MS Publisher 97 around '98/99 at break time and saying to myself, "One day." Then when I got a desktop publishing program that wasn't as expensive as PageMaker (yeah, I'm THAT old) but still took its sweet time loading, I was still convinced that my ideas would be right alongside HUES and other similar publications. Well, it's a few yrs later and like a lot a publishing houses, its a struggle to stay afloat - in print.

Even online, it can be challenge to make some profound statement about womanhood when the 'net is flooded with heroes gone astray such as Gloria Allred, who is representing one of Tiger Woods mistresses for the name of $. I tried to ignore the whole thing, even his stoic apology speech this past Friday. Then when side booty # whatever demanded an apology, I was through.

I could tolerate decent looking women with no skills pawing over and chain-kissing some rock/rap dude from the 80s. Palin seems cartoony at times and now we've got some non-white, female rapper with more plastic parts than Angelyne, calling herself a "barbie" (the acronym is too long and plus she's a damn Lil Wayne protegee) so I'll leave that where it is.

Anyhoo, hope you're enjoying Miss Fitts, she's coming up in a little bit.

A Message From Hellgirl

contact@crazations.com (Nean) — 2010-02-20T03:01:00Z

Don't live a little, live on fire

Also, don't forget our other little blog for those of you that feel enslaved by that daytime prison you may call your job but need to poke fun at those who have been through the same mess.

Love Hellgirl

Vegas Getaway

contact@crazations.com (Nean) — 2010-02-19T17:12:00Z

Everyone needs to blow off some steam once in a while. It’s a part of life itself. Maybe it's that hateful job that you must keep so that bills get paid, your spouse gets on your nerves or those kids just won't leave you the hell alone!

Don't chance an assault charge and possibly do time, spend quality time in Las Vegas instead.

Whether a weekend with friends, get hitched or just to relax, Las Vegas is the place for shopping and sightseeing - even if you’re on a budget. You can also catch some excellent shows like Bon Jovi, Santana, boxing, or performances by funny folks like David Spade.

There’s nothing like seeing a Las Vegas comedy

In fact,one of my greatest regrets in life was missing out on a road trip to see the late comedian Redd Foxx. The day I finally agreed to go was shortly before he ‘came to join Elizabeth’ for good. I kid you not.

So take a few dollars of that mad money you've been putting aside and just go! You don’t have to be like those guys from The Hangover but have fun anyway.

Plus Size Airplane Seats

contact@crazations.com (Nean) — 2010-02-15T17:21:00Z

Courtesy of CNN, actor-director Kevin Smith tells via Twitter of a recent experience flying Southwest Airlines. Seatbelt extenders are a nice concept but they don't act as a girdle to prevent girth from spilling over into next seat. This is why he, and others buy a second seat or upgrade to business class (which is probably what I'll do on my next flight).

Yeah, a few years before having a big butt was "in style", me and my "extra something" flew Southwest Airlines.

The funny thing was where I am bottom-heavy, the guy next to me was really top heavy (like a pro weightlifter). We had a quiet laugh about being a human jigsaw puzzle and talked about Vegas and after nibbling on comp peanuts, the plane landed.

On the A.M. news, a very popular plus-size newscaster argued that since we're all getting fatter reasonable accommodation should be made. I say have plus-size (or rename it generous or goodly) seating near the lavatory and give the flight attendants a brief sensitivity training ('No, I do NOT want diet soda or bottled water instead.') Don't live a little, live on fire
Tell us your thoughts.

A V-Day Message From Miss Fitts

contact@crazations.com (Nean) — 2010-02-11T21:36:00Z

I'm not telling you to go out and spend money on someone
Though if they were a good friend overall, it would be nice
Doesn't matter how attractive they are
Or what kind of places they got you into
At the same time, it's not good to spend money just because
It's V-Day
For some it means the day they got married
Or possibly divorced
Or someone gave them an unforgettable present
Called V.D.

So what can you do with your hard-earned dollars?
HAVE A DAY OF SELF-LOVE
Take a handheld mirror, favorite dessert and/or drink,
Some of your favorite music and add some candles, if you like
If you're not brave enough to take your clothes off, that's fine
Something that reveals who you REALLY are will do
Take your mirror and look at yourself
Not who you want to see or visualize
I mean all the stretch marks, cellulite, bumps, dips, scars, layers and whatever else
You may have tried so hard to hide
Or are ashamed of
After you look at it, kiss yourself in the mirror
Until you are tired of it and enjoy your night
Repeat as often as necessary until you can do it no more

Folks this may seem extreme but remember that you have to
Love yourself first before you can love anyone else!

Cheers (oh yeah, happy spending money that could be in account growing interest and used for life's little emergencies because Valentine or Cupid sure ain't gonna help you)

Sing Sista...I mean, SANG for Your Supper

contact@crazations.com (Nean) — 2010-02-09T22:31:00Z

Illustration by J.Swindell

Courtesy of the Crunk and Disorderly blog, Gabby Sidibe's (from the movie Precious) mom Alice Tan Ridley, has been making ends meet by singing at New York subways stations for some time now.

When I first heard of this, I thought 'How awful, I know Lee Daniels doesn't pay his actors much but the woman shouldn't have to be on those dangerous streets like a wino'.

Hardly the case. She was a former public school employee (I already feel her pain), who found that trying to sing and fight corrupt adminstrators may have been a slow suicide. So she decided to do what she loved full time instead - and is making more $!

Work Smarter, Not Harder

contact@crazations.com (Nean) — 2010-02-06T19:44:00Z

Let's face it. In this economy, staying ahead of the game in all business can be a challenge and some people feel the only way to remedy this is by working longer hours. Yet, there is a way to stay afloat without missing out on life.

With Mavenlink Project Management, you can strategically plan and organize your business in a manner that is both cost-effective and re-assuring that all members of your team are on the same boat. With teamwork success can happen.

Go to the Mavenlink Project Management site to learn about their free trial!

Jill Scott Talks VERY HONEST About Life After Giving Birth

contact@crazations.com (Nean) — 2010-02-05T17:56:00Z

Currently, I have no kids and even after reading this quote from singer/actress Jill Scott, I hope this will change - even if it means adoption. Though at one time, I was godmother of two and neither of their mothers spoke the truth like this. It was always mumbled or something

Courtesy of Rhymes with Snitch, here is her take on being a new mother. This is a really good read for any woman to if she does not have a strong support system in place. Postpartum depression is serious and something to think about if having a baby just so you won't feel lonely - or bored.

If You're Thinking About Relocating

contact@crazations.com (Nean) — 2010-02-04T17:17:00Z

Many folks I've known who have relocated say they will never miss things like traffic, crime and the overall high cost of living. Yet, they do complain that there is almost nothing to do or see compared to big city life.

Well, a relative who was recently downsized, told me about Desert Ridge. This is a fairly new community near Phoenix with a population just over 6,000 and an excellent school system. And there is nothing like breathing that smog-free Arizona air while walking along their many open trails and clean parks.

Now don't think this is in the middle with no place to go on a warm night. At Desert Ridge, there is live entertainment, dining or you can just hang by the outdoor fireplace at the District, If you're sick and tired of renting some cramped apartment, check out the Desert Ridge Homes for Sale - you may be surprised by the savings!

In fact, I may check this out for myself.

BUST and Sex Is Magazines

contact@crazations.com (Nean) — 2010-01-31T20:44:00Z

I recently bought the latest issue of BUST since I liked America Ferrera way before Ugly Betty (FYI, if you can buy the Real Women Have Curves DVD, I highly recommend it - even in this economy).

When I got in the checkout lane, I realized it was not only wrapped but came with a color zine insert called Sex Is.

Now to be truthful, I am the least amorous person out there right now. In fact, I've got something "special" lined up for V-Day. Anyhoo, the few pages were funny, informative and I wish this stuff like this was more available when I was coming up. I got the steamy side of sex but it took a few years to realize that a steamy cup of rum cider is not only more satisfying but comes with less headache (unless you like store brand alcohol).

R.I.P. Tangina aka Really Tiny Lady with that Creepy @ss Voice

contact@crazations.com (Nean) — 2010-01-28T04:52:00Z

This lady was in all three Poltergeist movies from the 1980s (IMD

Finally, Miss Fitts Podcast Debut

contact@crazations.com (Nean) — 2010-01-21T01:30:00Z

Click on arrow to hear what she has to say!

Almost 40 and Trying to Have a Baby?

contact@crazations.com (Nean) — 2010-01-20T01:20:00Z

This is an indie film about a woman named Dierdre Fishel, who started this project at 40 and the end product was called Sperm Donor X. To read more about Ms. Fishel's journey and see part of her finished documentary, click here.

When the End Does Not Justify the Means

contact@crazations.com (Nean) — 2010-01-16T18:46:00Z

You're at a party or club, drinks are flowing, music is good and seem to be flying higher than Gazoo (that green dude from the Flintstones cartoon). Then there's that certain someone that may be attractive, conversation is good and you go somewhere more private to get to know each other "on another level".

Gone are the days when you did whatever; and the next day you went back to your normal life with the promise of calling this person (which most of the time you never did and it was alright, too). Nowadays people stalk, try to move in, use drugs to rape or leave a little something behind like herpes or the clap.

As we all know, HIV/AIDS is still on the rise and there are still those who refuse to protect themselves. On MediaTakeOut , there has been an ongoing story of a seemingly attractive Detroit woman who knowingly infected men and women with the AIDS virus. Disguised partially to leave an impression with her penetrating eyes and gravel voice (supposedly caused by the illness), her YouTube video brought creeps to those who visit the site looking to find the latest celeb gossip.

Turns out the whole thing was a hoax. She was taken into custody by police and was tested negative.

Like that bit on Dave Chappelle's show, 'When Keeping it Real Goes Wrong.'

Do You Like Your Women...?

contact@crazations.com (Nean) — 2010-01-08T17:09:00Z

Nicely formed or chiseled plastic?

Always ready to deliver an ass-kicking?
Or soft, sloppy and non-threatening?

This article reminds me of the argument as the whether the Cosby Show was a real depiction of Black life.

OMG! The Beautiful People Are Coming! Hide the Kids!

contact@crazations.com (Nean) — 2010-01-05T22:36:00Z

In light of that new site that's ~~creating a buzz~~ really got people's draws in a bunch, I thought this article was interesting THOUGH I BEG TO DIFFER ON SO MANY LEVELS.

Let's see, when I was in school most of the college prep (now called Advanced Placement or AP) chicks looked like dogs.

I have several relatives who are "beautiful" but too dumb to get off street drugs and get a damn job.

I get a rise(and I'm still a woman) from seeing not-so-beautiful chicks get promoted over chicks that are just average without their enhancements.

An old friend loved to talk until no end about her glory days called the 70s when the only person whose chesticles came close to hers was Pam Grier but now her belly and tiddays have the same measurements. Despite her education and accomplishments (she is the only woman I know personally who can fly a plane to this day), this would get her down. I was compassionate at first but one day I just grabbed her by the shoulder, shook her like a rag doll and told that if she wants to hang out then she was required to loved every stretch mark, fluffy spots, sagging ends and cellulite like a high-interest bank account.

At least she stopped splitting desserts, in order to save "calories".

Widow of EBONY magazne founder and Fashion Fair Cosmetics

contact@crazations.com (Nean) — 2010-01-05T16:47:00Z

Eunice and John Johnson, Courtesy of grioo.com

Long before MAC came along, people of color went to (and some still do today) go to Fashion Fair cosmetics, the first line of cosmetics to be sold in a fine department store. Johnson was a true pioneer not only in fashion but the publishing industry. She was 93 and is survived by a daughter Linda.

Happy New Year and All That

contact@crazations.com (Nean) — 2010-01-05T07:49:00Z

Not big on talking about me per se but here's MY .02 just to say that we're still here since this body cleanse (have a Newport habit as well as hormonal imbalances and please.... for the love of GOD, do not plug your hocus pocus BS! I do not want to go back to screening comments) is keeping me awake like it's 1:00p instead of midnight.

Outside of that woman thing, there's promotion and finding ways to upgrade this MF. I think Miss Fitts' podcast will be a nice addition, so be sure to check back on 1/15, it should be interesting. Submission for the 'zine (Spring) will be accepted until February 16. CYA!

Why It's Important to Have a Good Mechanic

contact@crazations.com (Nean) — 2009-12-26T16:19:00Z

I have a girlfriend who once had the misfortune of her car breaking down - in front of a dealership! Turned out (after she signed a long lease) it was just her water pump that needed replacing. 25K vs. $250? No math there but she hates dealing with mechanics!
AAARGH!

As most of us are dealing with some cold winters, there is no cold like Chicago. And when the vehicle acts up, you're ready to slap somebody. Even if you're not in the Windy City, every woman fears, at one point or another, going to the Chicago auto repair. It can be the difference between getting a new pair of boots or literally driving them to work!

But seriously, there are mechanics that love your baby just as much as you do and are happy to answer you questions honestly and give estimates accordingly. Not only are some repairs less than a monthly note and insurance payment but you can be given the heads up on what to watch out for in the future.

These auto specialists will give the respect you deserve whether you drive a Toyota Corolla or something more on the luxurious side.

Rose From 227 Has Died!

contact@crazations.com (Nean) — 2009-12-20T00:24:00Z

If you weren't into sitcoms about middle-aged women sitting on a stoop and gossiping, then you might remember her as Gordon's sis from Sesame Street or the original Broadway productions of Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band or Hair.

She was also married to Peter Hall from 'Harry and the Hendersons'.

Rest in Peace